Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Rachael Harrie's Challenge/Flash Fiction


This week’s challenge is to write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, include a poem. We are to begin the story with the words, “shadows crept across the wall.” These five words will be included in the word count.
As an additional (optional) challenge, we can do one or more of the following:
  •  End the story with the words “everything faded.” (Included in the word count)
  • Include the word orange in the story
  • Write in the same genre I normally write
  •  Make the story 200 words exactly
I did all 4. Tell me what you think.


Dung it!

Shadows creep across the wall—my own. I follow my image around the barn and run smack into Travis.

“Going somewhere?” Travis grabs the collar of my orange uniform. Behind him stands the rest of my team. I swallow and don’t answer.
Across the dairy yard Brendan leans against the gate. Our eyes meet and I wonder why he doesn’t do anything, say something try to stop their stupidity. Sheesh, and I thought he was my best friend.

“Well, where you going?” Travis still has a hold of me and the neck chokes me.

With a quick movement I bring my hand up and knock Travis’s hand away, a sharp tear pulls the collar away from the shirt. “Great.” I mumble, thinking my mom’s gonna be pissed when she has to sew it back on. Or worse when coach has to replace it if Mom can’t fix it.

In a second several, of the guys grab my arms and legs. They drag me to the largest pile of manure I’ve ever seen. “Time for the honor system to take its toll.” With a heave they toss me. I am falling face first into cow dung and then everything fades.


You can "LIKE" here. I'm number 118.

23 comments:

  1. I have seen such a manure pile before, and almost had to shovel it all. Luckily it was a practical joke. Some friends! (Thanks for stopping by and "hi" from the campaign). Great story!

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  2. Oh my gosh that's so sad! I hope that he gets a turnaround at some point. Or that his friend comes to help him. Jeez!

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  3. Well done! You've painted a pretty good picture of a hazing or a bully prank. I hope Travis and his gang get there just desserts in the end. :)

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  4. I'm glad you like it! It's based very loosely on a scene from my book THE PENNY PROJECT.

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  5. Oh, man, mom's not gonna be happy about washing out the manure, either! Great job!

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  6. Eew! Not the way anyone would want to start their day with. Nice one! :)

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  7. Awww poor guy!! Nice job! :)

    I'm #37

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  8. Thanks, Daisy, David and Alyssa. It was a lot of fun to write. I hope you'll go vote for mine. Not that I think it's the best or anything. ;-)

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    1. I'm #118 on the list.
      http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/

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  9. OMGosh! I can't believe I wasn't already following you! Agh! I think I was following you under my other blog and didn't realize I haven't done it under this. *sigh* I totally remember because I love your pic up top and the colors of your blog. It's one of my faves!

    And great job on your flash fiction. Bummer to go into the poo pile tho. :( You've got my vote!

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  10. Poor guy! I wish I knew how he got into that situation!! I sure wouldn't want to be thrown into a pile of manure... Great job!

    I'm entry #19

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  11. Poor kid! Kids are so mean. :/ I wonder what he did to 'deserve' that!

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    1. Ashley, you'll just have to read THE PENNY PROJECT when I actually submit and publish it.

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  12. Poor guy! What a tough thing to go through! I'm #61.

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  13. Gross, although nicely done. Mine is #71

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  14. “Time for the honor system to take its toll.” I think he probably deserved his punishment because he broke an honor code of his team. Good story. It makes us think.

    I'm #88. Comments welcome.
    Richard Alan

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  15. Oh, dear. Not a good situation to be in, whether merited or not! I'm dropping by to say hello-- we're in the same Campaigner group. :)

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  16. It seems Brendan wasn't much of a friend, although it's hard to intervene in a situation like that. I bet a lot of us wouldn't go back to high school in a hurry! Nice job.

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  17. Case made: Kids are mean.
    Great story. For a moment I thought it was from the perspective of a chicken about to be beheaded, but then chickens don't wear uniforms (that I know of).

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  18. Ah, poor kid. Nothing like some team hazing. :)

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  19. Hey Betsy, my sister (and writing buddy), Kelly Nelson, told me to look you up. I think we live, like, 2 blocks away from each other. Neat blog! I'm glad I found it!

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